For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every creature, a mate. For every creation, a parallel. This is true not just in the grand scheme of things, but in your own backyard.
For every stop sign, a green light. For every bottle, a spit-up. For every V-neck, a sneeze in the cleavage.
At work, we have a different match. For every mouth, a snack.
Our department, I'm sure, brings, shares, consumes and cleans up more food per square inch than the entire rest of the paper put together.
Early start and no lunch? Send out for burgers.
Ten-hour day? Make the department head order pizza.
Thanksgiving inserts? Biscuits and gravy.
Just for the hell of it? Cookies, cream cheese and onion rollups, brownies, pretzels, chili, and so on.
Christmas is coma-inspiring. Fudge is only the beginning. Chocolate covered cherries, puddings, fruitcake, candy-coated everything, cheese dip, pie... Anything remotely resembling a holiday is celebrated with caloric indulgences that require a papal dispensation.
Our supervisor's husband brings donuts. We go through several pots of coffee every day. Occasionally the whole bunch of us will meet up and go for breakfast. The most commonly heard phrase in our department may be, "Okay, you take the first station..." but the runner-up has to be, "Well, I guess I oughta get me a bite of that..."
We should be grateful that we burn off plenty of calories during the course of a given work day.
If it wasn't for work, I'd love my job...