Make your fortune.

I'm a big fan of Chinese buffet, be it lunch or dinner. Those little crab things, those other things with beef, and those whatchacallits with chicken. It's all good.

Then comes the piece de transistors: the fortune cookie.

I don't know if fortune cookies are really a Chinese tradition, but darn, they're good. Especially with hot tea. And double especially if your fortune is funny. I've saved all of my cookie fortunes. Not sure why, but they reside in my wallet for future reference. Here are some of my favorites.

Success is a team sport.
Need some adventure and enjoyment? Take a vacation.
You will be successful in everything.
God will help you overcome any hardship.
Don't be afraid to take a chance when the opportunity of a lifetime appears.
You will find your solution where you least expect it.
You will enjoy doing something different this coming weekend.
Remember, being happy is not always being perfect.
Soon, someone will make you very proud.
You always bring others happiness.
Endurance and persistence will be rewarded.
You have a natural grace and great consideration for others.
You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you.
Your hidden creative talents will soon be revealed.
A pleasant surprise is in store for you.
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
Now is a good time for serenity: a book and a good friend.
Now is the time to try something new.
It's not what you know, but what you USE of what you know that counts.
Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value to its scarcity.
Your flamboyant personality will soon bring you to a new hobby.
Friendship is the key to peace of mind.

Yes, they're a bit generic; kind of "warm fuzzy" stuff. But I love these fortunes for one simple reason. They become hysterically funny when you tag them with three extra words.

"...between the sheets."