04 February 2010

How rude!

There is, unfortunately, all kinds of rudeness in the world.

There's blunt rudeness, like the guy who cuts you off in traffic while simultaneously eating a breakfast burrito, texting a friend, yakking on the phone, and changing the radio station. This is also known as stupid, but we're dealing with rudeness today.

This kind of rudeness usually prompts "in kind" rudeness, such as denouncing the driver's ancestry and personal habits, or demonstrating the California State Bird.

There's unintentional rudeness, like, say, having to blow off your knitting friends even though you've been looking forward to seeing them for weeks but your spouse and child have to come along because you only have one car and you're going to go do stuff afterward and your spouse seems to think that you are multitasking goddess who doesn't mind trying to visit, knit, eat cold soup, AND chase the baby even though he's right there not doing anything and could surely take thirty seconds out of his day to make sure the kid doesn't do a faceplant off of the table.

Hypothetically.

There's also "left field" rudeness, the kind that comes out of nowhere and leaves you wondering if the rude person in question forgot to take their morning meds. Case in point, a former co-worker.

I arrived at work to find a newbie in our midst. The usual procedure in these cases is an exchange of names and a pleasantry or two, plus directions to the coffeepot and cookie jar. Instead, I was treated to left field rudeness.

My introduction was met right out of the gate with, "Oh, you should cut your hair!"

Um, no?

"Oh, but you could get it cut like mine, and give it to Locks of Love!"

Um, hell no?

See, I have hair. Lots of hair. It goes past my knees. I chop off five or six inches every few months to keep the ends healthy, but I don't get "real" haircuts. Ever. It's just this thing I have about it.

When normal people ask about my hair and the potential for cutting it, I usually give my version of a witty reply. We laugh and the matter is dropped.

1. If I cut my hair, my eyebrows will sag to my knees.

2. If I cut my hair, I'll lose my counterbalance and fall on my face.

3. I know what I look like with short hair.

4. I once won a $30 bet involving the pizza guy, April Fool's Day, and my hair. I might need another $30 someday, so I can't cut it.

5. It keeps me warm in the winter.

6. I'm auditioning for the part of Cousin It in the upcoming Addams Family revival.

7. I'm a spinner, and someday sheep may go bald.

I have never, EVER had another person suggest, without even telling me their name, what I should do with parts of my body. Well, I take that back. I've never had a complete stranger tell me what I should do with my hair. I gave her my best, "Okay, now eat the nice Valium" smile and told her I'd think about it.

Right after I take my pet pig for his pilot's license exam...

13 comments:

Dee said...

Ahhh, I love this kind of rudeness. The "I know better than you what you need" rudeness. Gotta love it!

You knitting friend here appreciated you company and didn't think you were rude at all.

Dee Anna

Kitten With a Whiplash said...

I was training a new employee on his first day. At breaktime he asked if I'd join him at lunchtime to get a falafel. I told him I didn't like falafels. His response was that I NEEDED to be more OPENMINDED.

I instantly went entirely ballistic - I think it was the first time I actyally made someone cower. "Are you sure you want to insult your new supervisor before you've been here even 3 hours? Do you have any idea how many falafels I've tried WITH AN OPEN MIND, and having tried them, I found that I didn't like them? Do you think YOU mignt be a little better off being more OPENMINDED, and getting the pretinent facts before judging people? You know, people like your new supervisor? The new supervisor who now has doubts about keeping an employee who is not OPENMINDED enough to consider that everyone has the right to decide for themselves what foods they do or don't like?"

I still don't like falafels, but I love flying pigs! And once in a while making someone cower.

Dianne said...

A girl at work once told me I need to put more "poof" in my hair. The nerve! Of course, I couldn't think of anything witty at the time. I just stared at her and then walked away.

The Lass said...

Oh, I just adore this kind of behavior. Makes me feel all fuzzy inside when my father comes to see me for the first time in about one year and the first thing he says upon seeing me is 'Aaah, we'll get you a fresh haircut soon, won't we?'Love it.

Lourie said...

To the individual who said you should get your hair cut: You should really not talk. No really. Not talking would be great for you. Sheesh!

yarndork said...

I love your hair. 'Nuf said.

saffron said...

Sometimes people tell me to cut my hair for donating, but I always say it is not long enough yet. Since they need 10-12 inches, I make sure that I say my hair will never get shorter than ______ which is less than 10-12 inches from the end...that takes care of that :D

Thimbleanna said...

Yep, that definitely gets the rudeness award for this week! How cool though that your hair is down to your knees!

riseoutofme said...

A long walk off a short pier might be in order here.

Loved your post on the Farmer vs Sword - here via Molly.

Judy said...

Your hair is YOUR hair and no one should tell you how to wear it, not even Larry and especially not some total stranger.
Geez, the nerve of some people.

Rainy Daisy said...

Ugh. I hate this junk. I used to get nonsense like this all the time when I worked in retail. My husband told me at the time (which, at the time, didn't help a bit) that people honestly don't know any better, that they apparently weren't raised in a house where manners were expected and/or reinforced. Maybe the lady was trying to pay you a compliment? Albeit a really awful and awkward one...

rhubarbwhine said...

I am slowly easing myself back into blogland. Look at what I have missed !

Some people just have no idea, do they?

Molly said...

The gall of some people!