I have to go back to another program on another computer to edit the pictures I was planning to show you because this thing blows them up to billboard size. Since I'm sure you're not interested in a two-foot nostril, I'll save the pitures for another day.
Okay, so yesterday was my birthday. I got tons of good wishes and blessings from almost everyone I know.
When a spouse forgets your birthday, there are a number of ways to deal with it. There's the "You-miserable-jerk-I-bore-your-children!" approach, which leaves all parties unhappy. There's the "I'll-just-drop-ten-billion-subtle-hints" approach, which usually doesn't work and ends up leading to Option A anyway.
I chose Option C, and said nothing. The guy's been out of work for over a year, and freaks out every month when the bills come due. If I were to mention the word "birthday", he'd be miserable over the fact that he couldn't make a big deal over it. I chose to shut up and let Nature take its course.
Nature arrived at nine in the evening. His phone beeped.
"I didn't hear your phone ring. Who sends you a text besides me?"
We were both stumped, so Himself looked at the phone.
"Hey, it's from S.!"
Unusual, but S. had called earlier about a handyman job, so maybe this was an update. S. and L. are two of our favorite people, so maybe they wanted to make plans.
Himself read the message.
He turned gray.
"What? What did he say?"
Silence. Himself was shading from gray to green.
"What?! Is it something bad?"
"It's not good!" His eyes were attempting to dislodge themselves.
After a few more fruitless attempts to get in on the big shock, I said to hell with the whole mess and went for more coffee. This was when Himself crept slooooowly into the kitchen and slooooowly put his arms around me.
"I forgot your birthday."
After about five thousand apologies, Himself showed me the text. Probably unwilling to stand by while his friend was likely to be killed, S. had sent the innocent phrase, "Tell her happy birthday from us!" Himself promptly hustled off to the Evil Empire, calling himself everything but a gentleman. He returned with roses (red, to match his face) and a card, which were received with smiles and kisses. We were still laughing about it this afternoon.
Not the most romantic of birthday events, but we've got a great anecdote to share at future parties.