24 August 2009

Sin and silliness.

I did a bad thing today. I wasted coffee. Not only that, it was someone else's coffee. Worse than that, it was at work. Bad enough that my knitting time at work has gone bye-bye, now I have to tortue my co-worker by spilling his coffee.

I sat in it.

Who puts coffee on a low table in a room with no chairs?!

Rather than die of embarassment (and a rather painful burn), I turned to humor. A great defense mechanism, especially when you beat others to the punch.

Me: "Hey, I don't think you want your coffee anymore!"

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Cause you'll have to wring it out of my pants!"

Our boss: "Oh, that sounded just terrible!"

Having entered by bloodstream in a roundabout fashion (yes, there's a potential insult there; leave it be), the coffee revved up my brain and made it conclude that rapid-fire weirdness was in order.

"The best part of waking up is Folger's in your butt! We know it wasn't Taster's Choice; that's a flavor we can live without. So, what kind was it? N'assCafe? No. Eight O'Crotch? Nuh-uh. It was Cheek Full O' Nuts!"

I retreated to the corner with a fresh cup of coffee and a fan. Tomorrow I will remember to seek before I sit. Behold before I burn. Most importantly...

I must not waste coffee.
I must not waste coffee.
I must not waste coffee.
I must not waste coffee.
I must not waste coffee...

5 comments:

Lourie said...

Folgers in your butt! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh. :D

Sue said...

Did you then sit in the cream or do you take yours black?

Molly said...

Ouch! Humour---the great face-saver!

Mags said...

Hey~
Your (coffee)puns are spot on...as usual! The cheek of your employers, not allowing knitting..what a$s$s!
Happy knitting.

rhubarbwhine said...

I had to read this several times over.
You
Sat
In
Coffee?