09 November 2007

Much grumbling.

Okay, I have a ball of yarn that is cursed. I am convinced of this. I won't mention the name of the yarn or the company, because I'm sure they didn't curse this particular ball on purpose, and their other stuff is very nice and user-friendly, but this ball has a hex on it.

It's a sneaky hex, too. I worked several yards of it with no problem. Finished a pair of little socks, no biggie. The remainder was intended, with some other yarn, as a sweater. Check pattern, needles, gauge; everything you're supposed to do. Cast on, and away!

What the mumble? This is going to be dinosaur-sized! I will run out of yarn before I get done with the neckline, let alone work all the way down the body!

Check gauge again. Somehow, instead of thirteen stitches to two inches (Which I freaking well got before!), I have nine. Rats.

Frog, frog, frog. Discover that although the PATTERN calls for size fours, my new-found gorilla gauge requires ONES. Start again.

After several inches of knitting with DK weight on size one needles, I come to the conclusion that I am knitting chain mail. Since it's supposed to be a sweater, I frog again after allowing my eyes a little time to uncross.

Let's try another pattern. Oh, look. It's happening again. Let's hurt somebody! Ripripripriprip. Okay, forget the sweater. How about a nice blanket instead? Cushy yarn, garter stich squares...I manage six rows before remembering that I loathe making garter stitch squares. I also hate sewing squares together.


I am currently on row fifteen of yet another sweater pattern. If this fails to work, I will make a burnt offering of the yarn to the gods of knitting in hopes that they will take pity on a demented knitter who only wants to use her powers for good.

Anybody want a sweater that can double as armor?


Mags said...

Sometimes the knitting god(dess) just won't smile on us!!!
I'll take that sweater..umm..where to wear armour??

Dianne said...

Ball Bands and Gauge Swatches - both are evil liars!

Latoya said...

OMG! I know that ball of yarn. I say frame it to remind us of knitting woes and challenges. Smile.

Knit on!