It's a hot but beautiful day. The sky is blue, it rained last night, I've just finished a really good cup of coffee. Being in an expansive mood, I will tell you a story.
Happy silfert left the house with her handsome and devoted husband, Himself. Into the Big Red Beast they climbed and headed off in search of High Adventure. The Big Red Beast made the turn around the end of the block and screeched to a halt in front of silfert's other car, the Poor Baby. Wails of dismay pierced the early morning air. Down the Poor Baby's white side was a long stripe of Black Spray Paint. Silfert said many things, most of them biologically impossible. The flow of obscenities came to an abrupt halt when silfert and Himself spied what was waiting at the end of the block. The church there had also been spray painted. With a nasty word, a swastika and a smiley face. A contest ensued between silfert and Himself to see who could come up with the most apt description of the kind of person who would do such a thing.
The local constabulatory was alerted, and silfert and Himself went on their slightly subdued way. As an employee of the local newspaper, silfert took it upon herself to notify the media. The phone was answered by M, who vowed to spread the news of these atrocities At Once. She rushed into the office of G, the Managing Editor. He managed to incur silfert's immediate disdain by responding to the tale of paint and vulgarity by saying, "So what do you want ME to do about it?"
Gee, dude. How about, oh I don't know, your JOB? I'm sorry the story doesn't involve hotel heiresses, but JEEZ! It's news! Terrible news! Report it!
Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed and the story made the front page. Silfert and Himself spent a pleasant day together, the paint was removed, and now there are basketweave socks to finish.
Yeah, if ya gotta get spray paint off of your car, get some nail polish remover with acetone, two rags and a bowl of water. Scrub the paint off of one section with the polish remover, then swab it down with water. Repeat as needed. Follow with a tall glass of lemonade and some cushy knitting.