15 August 2007

All journalists should knit.

I am convinced of this. All persons working in the field of journalism should knit. They would be much more relaxed and able to deal with strife and chaos. Case in point: yesterday.

In theory, the world of newspaper publishing is a graceful dance of efficiency. Pages are arranged and sent to the image setter, negatives are burned onto tin plates, plates are hung on the press, ink and water flow adjustments are made, and a paper is created. Yesterday, the dance turned into a screaming free-for-all.

Page one was forgotten on top of the image setter until 12:30. The image setter malfunctioned repeatedly, which scrambled the fonts of the rest of the pages. No one from the news department came back to the camera room to proofread, so we ended up changing tins THREE times. A negative for the blue ink was shot in reverse, so there was another change. The water flooded onto the floor, the ink wouldn't stabilize, and the humidity caused about nine web breaks. Our noon deadline came and went. Wrenches were thrown and swears were sworn.

We finally got a good copy at 2:30, the ranting carriers departed, and I got a wicked paper burn on my left forearm. So why am I smiling?

Because I knit! Every time something broke down, I went back to my sock and knit a few rounds, secure in the knowledge that my earplugs would keep me from hearing the worst of the obscenities. Got the heel turned and the gussets done. On to the foot!

Of course, that's not the ONLY reason. Remember Saint Lucy? I'm going to consider the events of yesterday as divine intervention. Guess who's ultimately responsible for the Great Fiasco? Yes, Mr. Journalism 101! It was HIS department. Hah! Bitten on the butt by Karma while I get paid to stand around and scratch my arse for four hours!

Weird how I can get paid for doing nothing, but can't get paid for doing my job. The universe does indeed balance out. Perhaps I should say a "Hail Harlot" in thanks?

"Hail Stephie,
full of wit.
Show us how
a Harlot knits."

Hold the offering plate while I do a happy dance!


Dianne said...

Woo Hoo! The knitting goddesses were smiling on you and playing tricks on your boss yesterday! Maybe you shouldn't gloat too much though. Nah, go ahead. You deserve it!

Nichole said...

Add Marketing people to the list of all who should knit.......

Mags said...

How the mighty have fallen! Imagine being there to see...what sweet satisfaction!
Happy knitting.