27 September 2007

What did that say?!

For the most part, I enjoy my job. I don't get paid enough, the hours are weird, and I deal with some real squirrel bait, but the job itself is interesting. Sometimes there's excitement, occasionally there's sadness and sometimes there's serious hilarity.

The hilarity is often purely accidental.

Those who are on the "large" end of the cheese spectrum believe that profit is best spent maintaining the newspaper's image. To that end, we have a new entryway to the building, new computers for the office people, new tables in the breakroom, and a new image setter.

This image setter is going to remain new for a long time. No one can get it to work.

We, the small cheeses, would like to see the money used in an entirely different fashion. We want a fulltime proofreader.

Once the newsroom sends all of the pages back to the camera room, the pages are shot, burned onto the tins, washed and mounted on the press. The press begins to roll and waste papers are printed while the pages are aligned and the color is brought up to proper levels. This is supposed to be the point when a "thumbs up" is given and the papers are given to the mailroom staff for distribution. All too often, however, things are brought to a screeching halt (literally) because someone notices a glaring error. The decision is made to pull the offending tin and replace it with one that is (hopefully) error-free.

The carriers say nasty things to the mailroom staff because it is obviously our fault. The pressmen swear and throw wrenches because the newsroom people are alseep at the wheel. The newsroom people snarl because the pressroom people failed to notice the glaring mistake. Silfert rolls her eyes, pours another cup of coffee and goes back to her knitting. The goof is fixed, the papers are printed, everyone goes on with their day.

"How hard is it to proofread a twelve-page newspaper?" you ask. Nearly impossible, apparently. Here's a hint: just because it comes off the AP line doesn't mean it's correct. The spelling is usually fine. It's the grammar that sometimes borders on the atrocious.

The best goofs are often found in our headlines. We had a great one that touted the latest business deal of MACROSOFT. Bill Gates would have been so proud. His company is almost a household name. Another favorite was the announcement of the upcoming Pasty Cline Revue. Pasty? Is she really pale, or is it a burlesque show?

Last weekend, we had a doozy. I'm still not convinced it wasn't done on purpose, but our sports page will never be the same.

AC BULLDOGS WEAR OUT TROJANS!

6 comments:

Nichole said...

LMAO - surely there's no need for a PROOFREADER at a newspaper... c'mon now... HA HA HA

And yes, you've earned your McGyver badge indeed!

jillster said...

You need to send in some of those hilarious lines to Jay Leno for his monday "Headlines" segment. Too funny!

Jen C said...

ROFL, oh my...

Dianne said...

That is just too funny. Seriously hilarious!

Anonymous said...

http://www3.ottawaherald.com/ottsub/sports/stories/092207ancofb.shtml

Dee said...

heee heee